8 February 2004 / JNW Service / Bangalore
Due to the exploding population of India, we have had to go beyond the existing, even proposed emission norms by the establishment of human emission norms to control the alarming rate of air and olfactory pollution from these sources. This is the first such effort any where in the world and the first such state-of-the-art AETC (Anus Emission Testing Centre) has been set up in Bangalore on a pilot basis for a period of 1 year. If this is successful, it will be replicated country-wide.
Several countries having large or dense populations including China, Japan, Singapore and Bangladesh have evinced keen interest in this technology. According to the Director of AETC, Anushree Padhi, this is an untapped source for alternate energy resources with vast potential in view of the large demand-supply energy gap in India.
Because of energy related implications, USA and Britain who always look for steady energy sources due to the inherent instability of the Middle East, have signed MOUs with India to take-off as much as 50% of the value-added gas products. This is expected to create a large number of jobs for Indian professionals in this field of expertise.
Meanwhile, American and British workers' unions are smelling a rat, citing this as yet another example of how Indians are stealing their jobs. They claim that Indian emissions may be cheaper, but the quality of American and British emissions are far superior because of their diet. Asked to comment on this, Anushree Padhi said that the quality of Indian emissions are comparable to American and British ones. "Our diet consists more of pulses and beans than Western ones, which have more of meat products. Also, because of this, we don't need to worry about diseases like SARS and bird flu. They are not able to digest our growth and their griping is just sour grapes. Its time they eat humble pie."
With such "nascent" technology, only time will tell how this one turns out.
-JNW (Jaimini NewsWire)
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PS. OK, OK already, I took this photo on CMH road, Bangalore. If you missed it, there is a small apostrophe between the "U" and the "S". Even then, its not very flattering for people called Anu!
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